Taoism | Shit happens. |
Buddhism | If shit happens, it's not really shit. |
Islam | If shit happens, it's the will of Allah. |
Protestantism | Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. |
Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to us? |
Hinduism | This shit happened before. |
Catholicism | Shit happens because you're bad. |
Hare Krishna | Shit happens rama rama. |
T.V. Evangelism | Send more shit. |
Atheism | No shit. |
Jehova's Witness | Knock knock, shit happens. |
Hedonism | There's nothing like a good shit happening. |
Christian Science | Shit happens in your mind. |
Agnosticism | Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't. |
Existentialism | What is shit anyway? |
Stoicism | This shit doesn't bother me. |
Rastafarianism | Let's smoke this shit. |